Hoy os presento la segunda historia de nuestra escritora Elena. ¡Disfrutad!
I am convinced that everyone has memories of having had a childhood arch nemesis. It was always that neighborhood kid who you were forced to hang out with simply because your parents were friends. You may have memories of this special child coming over unannounced on snow days and just ruining your entire day. Snow days would turn into a “shopping trip” where he/she would go and pillage through your action figures or Barbie collection. This kid would also use conniving and vindictive ways to sweet talk your grandma into handing over all the cookies in the house. Your grandma would even prepare those special snacks you thought were only intended for your stomach. To make matters worse, this kid attended the same school as you and probably ignored you with the exception of times you got in trouble. Face it, this kid never left your life and never let you forget it. My “special friend” was named Meg.
It was one of those days off school when I received a call from Meg- “I’m bored. I am coming over right now.” I thought it would be one of our typical hang out days: watching the Brady Bunch, playing role-play games in my backyard where I would always play the underdog loser , being reminded every five minutes of the fact that I was a year younger than her, and annoying my older brother. This particular day was a little different from all other days, we convinced my brother to play Monopoly with us! This may seem pretty lame, but in the eyes of an eight year old this was equivalent to the excitement that comes out of winning $5 in a slot machine after wasting $15.
We began setting up the game. To no surprise Meg chose the monopoly piece I wanted and justified it by saying, “Older kids pick first!” What a fucker. The game began and all was good. I passed go, collected my $200, stayed away from jail, and acquired a railroad and some other properties. Suddenly, my luck began to change. My success took a spiraling turn, like MC Hammer’s career. I kept having bad rolls, causing me only to attain the shitty purple property package that should really be called “your fucked” and “give up NOW” rather than “Baltic Ave” and “Mediterranean Ave”. Meg, on the other hand, was doing great. She was putting up houses and hotels. With each roll, a smirk was directed at me. Every time I’d land on her little hotel area, I felt like smacking her.
After about an hour of playing, I was in debt and all my properties were flipped over on the Mortgage side. I even had to give up some property cards in order to make money. My only hope was passing “Go”. I would not have minded quitting, but Meg loved the feeling of defeat way too much. My only option was to keep going and hope that my brother beat her in some way. I rolled the dice, landing on Chance. The card read, “Pay each player $50.” I paid up; Meg shit her pants with pride. I kept on going, thinking that maybe my luck would change and remembering that my brother could still crush her.
My roll was up again, Community Chest this time. I slowly lifted up the card, making sure Meg would not see. I looked at it. “Go to Reading Railroad.” Meg owned the Railroads that would mean I’d have to pay her! In that instant, I quickly made up my mind and did the most rational thing I could think of- I put the card at the bottom of the pile and picked the next one.
“ELENA!!!! That’s not fair! You HAVE TO DO WHAT IT SAYS!” As Meg ranted, I looked over at my brother. He calmed Meg down by telling me that the next time I drew a card I couldn’t choose another one. The game was still on. My roll came once again.
I began to move my piece again over the board, anticipating landing on someone’s property. Luck seemed on my side as I landed on Community Chest again. I hoped that this would be my shot at luck, my chance to get back in the game and beat Meg once and for all. I slowly reached for the pile and drew the card, hesitating a little before flipping it over so that I could read it. - “Pay each player $100.” My life was over. I only had $2 and Meg was so proud I thought her head would explode. She couldn’t see this card, she wouldn’t see this card. As long as I had the card, no one would know.“ELENA!!!! ELLEEEEENAAAAAA WHAT DOES IT SAY!!! TELL ME!!!”My heart was beating fast. Sweat was trickling down my face. I had to think fast and be clever. I suddenly remembered what I had heard angry adults say to each other. It was my only hope. It would work. It had to work! It was how adults won arguments.
I turned to Meg, mustering all the courage and confidence I had, yet still remaining extremely frustrated and ready to explode with anger. “IT SAYS TO SUCK ON YOUR PENIS!!!”
Without thinking, I threw everyone’s hotels off the board and shoved the card in my mouth. As I ate the card, I watched Meg’s jaw completely drop and her eyes bulged out of her socket. My brother rolled on the ground laughing. I’d had it. Meg defeated me but victory that day came with a price. That day Meg learned some valuable lessons- she learned that there was a possibility that she may have a penis and that Monopoly could serve as an aphrodisiac. Most importantly she learned that she could not mess with the one and only, Elena.